Your 20s is a strange but wonderful decade filled with, transitions, transformations, revolutions and a lot of soul baring.
You’re classed as an adult but you kind of still feel like a teenager. You probably still have some of your friends from your teenage years – but how long for?
Not to sound dramatic but EVERYTHING changes in your 20s. Your mind-set, your taste in clothes, your taste in food, your hobbies and yes your friends. Even the friends you’ve had since high school that you thought you’d be friends with forever but alas, sometimes it’s just not meant to be.
Here are 5 reasons why we all lose friends in our 20s…
You don’t see other each as much as you used to
You go from seeing each other every other day to every other month. Oh and sleepovers are pretty much non-existent. But that doesn’t mean that you don’t want to see each other it’s just that as your grow older you become busier doing other things. Work obligations, geographical locations and partners all tend to play a role in the inevitable breakdown of friendships. Plus when one of you does make the effort to try fixing a date where you can all hang out – it’s literally impossible to pick a date where you’re all free.
You grow up and grow apart
You get older, wiser and your priorities change, however not always at the same rate as your friends. Sometimes you pass a certain stage in life that they’re still in. For example you may have had friendships that revolved around going out all the time and you grew out of that stage while they didn’t. Maybe you want to do other things like, go on day trips, explore different cities, but they still want to do the same old, same old. This can clause conflicts and leads you to drift apart.
Your friends change and so do you
In your 20s you’re beginning to really find yourself and realise what kind of people you want in your life and why. You realise that you don’t need the friend who makes sly digs at you or the friend whose jokes have become less funny and nastier. Just because you’ve been friends for years doesn’t mean you have to keep them in your life. Sometimes you’re only friends with people because of circumstances. This isn’t to say you don’t have love for them but if you were to meet them in a different time, different place, would you actually get along with them?
Fu*k fake friends
We’ve all probably had that friend who seems to have a split personality, one minute everything is all good then the next you find out they were bitching about you. We deal with their constant drama and bad qualities, but there comes a time when you have enough. During high school, college and uni we’re more likely to put up with bad friends and their bad habits. However, putting up with a friend because you know their good at heart is one thing but if the friend in question is proving to cause more conflicts then you may find that the friendship has run it’s course.
You get married
He liked it and he put a ring on it – yay! But this can make things even more strained with some friends. Some friends see the green-eyed monster, some don’t offer any help or support and some friends don’t even bother turning up. Plus it can affect your group dynamics, especially if you have single friends who still party all the time. The truth of it is that you’ll probably have different priorities now and won’t be able to jump out at a moments notice. Some friends will accept that and be happy for you while others won’t understand. Wedding planning is stressful to say the least and your true friends will make themselves known. Don’t worry about the rest.
So it’s safe to say that you’ll probably leave your 20s with fewer friends then what you started with. Although it’s sad, it’s all part of life and completely natural. It’s all about nurturing the positive, healthy and loving relationships in your 20s. You want your remaining friends to be the ones who lift your spirits and feed your soul.
Do you have any experiences of losing friends?